First Race :)

So the first race was more mentally challenging then I expected, but I did it!!!

Got to the race at 7:30am felt so out of place I wanted to cry. Sat around till my race started at 10:45. I only talked to one girl, the girl that won the race and got to hear her story and her quest for making her dreams come true. She really is an amazing athlete/young women and I am sure her dreams will come true.

I told her my dream too. I was shocked she didn't laugh but said she knew I was going to say something like that.

I told my friend from figure skating Bryan Rabin my dream last week and as I was telling him I wanted to crawl under the table we were sitting at. But something else started to happen as I spoke with him, a new freedom in myself started to grow. Along with a sense of confidence in this dream I have. It started to become a reality and took on a sense of life. It was amazing what change I felt during that lunch we shared. To my surprise he said he believed in me too. WOW! Someone that hasn't seen me in 26 years and because of what he saw in my face and knowing the skater I was, believes in me. That was incredible to me, for me. It gave me the confidence to say to this young women, a stranger really That I wanted to do everything and go for the 2014 winter Olympics in long track speed skating.

So back to the race. Standing on the starting line with my husband and youngest son cheering me on.... I wanted to leave and take my skates off! Really, I was that nervous! My feet were shaking my toes were numb, nothing felt good! Then they said go.

It's been a long time sense being competitive. I forgot the feeling, and I know now I have a lot more to remember about competing. Competing is just another form of training. Any competitor that thinks they can take time off from competing and get in the best shape of there lives and go compete at the major competition without doing any little competition has got an eye opener. The mental stamina needed in this aspect alone is crazy.

As we started skating I got tired from that, the lack of mental stamina, I also forgot all the pace line breakaways. and regrouping pace line strategy's that are done in the race. So by the 6th mile I was shot, and by the last 9th mile I wanted to call it quits. But a long the way in those miles it became more than just a race to me it became a time to talk to some of the other skaters and encourage them on. To do little things. to say to them. to help them and in doing that it also helped me. I saw a little girl working so hard by herself and offered my help to her. I saw myself in her. Also saw a parent who was pushing this child beyond crazy. Another girl who was So good lose her fight and faith and talked to her to help her on. And like I said it helped me. I finished the race in the lead pack in 13th place and finished this 15k (9mile) in 27 minutes 49seconds.

I'm happy!

Am I living in a Dream World?

What am I doing?
I am so far from the starting line.... I get up everyday and do as much as I can and more, and it's still not enough! Everyday I start a workout it's like getting ready to have another child. You know the baby is miracle, that when you hold it in your arms your heart will be filled with joy beyond words. But before that you have to go through labor, birth! That is painful, long and at the time seems like it will never end.
Well I still am at the part of the pregnancy when your not showing even a lump on your belly. I am at the part when you feel green all day long and your feet are dragging and you haven't even heard your child's heart beat, and you still have that " what if " fear of losing the baby. Losing something that you desperately what to hold in your arms and love beyond words already.
It's a scary place to be in, putting yourself out to that place of total commitment, to have something that's not yours yet.
I have that desire.
It's scary.
I want it.
I'll do what I can do every day.
Tomorrow will come...

Ask kicked!!!

So today I got my ass kicked! Pride, ego and anything else that goes with that kicked! I have soo much to learn and so far to go. Today was just a reality slap into the work that I have to face to accomplish the FIRST step on this journey.
I learned how to ride a bike today. Does anyone remember the first time they learned to ride a bike without training wheels? Well that's what today was for me. I took the training wheels off the the bike for the first time. I made it down the driveway, but coming back up was hard and scary. I got a look at reality square in the face. It was totally fun and exciting. had complete joy in the moment of stepping up to face reality and doing these first real steps. Then I saw someone who has been doing this kind of training for sometime doing it and He blew me out of the water!!!

Not an easy thing to say happened. I have always prided myself on being fast. But technique was a definite advantage to skating FAST. My muscles are old and out of shape. They haven't been trained or worked out in 12 years.

I spent 3 of those twelve years flat in bed not knowing if I wanted the next day to exists. 4 of those years trying to put one foot in front of the other and relearn who I am and what I was created to be and do. Now that I know what I am to be doing, I feel like a person who has been in a coma for most of their life and is learning to get out of bed and make it to the bathroom without help. a little dramatic, maybe. But then again maybe not. Losing everything that you thought was important in your life, then finding beauty in stuff you took for granted is pretty dramatic!

Now I wake up and look forward to seeing what tomorrow will bring and how I am going to learn how to handle it. I have found that most of the time that I must look at it, let it go and relearn.

So today I rode the bike down my drive way and back up. What will tomorrow bring? The side walk or the street. I can't wait to face my first hill!

First day on ice!!!

WOW!!!!

I had a great time tonight skating in "borrowed skates". Learned some amazing techniques and was so happy to find out that all the work I have been doing off ice on inline skates and the slide board have been correct. Now I have some more to add to the practices. So happy I don't have to spend time correcting the stuff I have started to do.

But the topper to this night on the ice was the fact that my family was there to skate with me too. We all had some exciting personal bests trying to speed skate. My Husband Michael went out with no edges and was ready to quit right away.So I took out my stone and swipe swipe he had an edge and he didn't come off again. He even got better as the session went on, still looked like a hockey player, but gotta love his heart. Sara my oldest child got the worst skates known to man. They were Bad! She went out on the ice sliding every way possible except forward, out came the stone again and yup she could stand. She started off with some memorable falls and went to a practice group and came back a new skater!!! Last was my youngest son Thomas (my middle son Zak is away at college) well he was all about the speed and trying to beet everyone on the ice. So cute! He was not bad I was very impressed. Now to slow him down and see if a thing called form will appear. After the session was over and he couldn't stop talking about how much he loved it and wanted to go again, the question was asked "what do you want a new guitar or speed skates"? Well... vanHallen... you better watch out he is comin after you!

Food time

One week of Rollerblading Done, about 70 miles. I finally found the stride that would be used on ice. I can't be 100% sure, but with a lot of prayer it is. One good thing with having such a strong figure skating background and thousands of hours spent working on form and edges. I have a great eye for picking up technique of others and transferring it to me. This technique isn't easy to come by and I have a long way to go before I can say I have it for good. But I do know it's a start. I love starts!
So the hardest part for me is to change my food. Danger! Danger! My issues with food goes way back and I have a long list. So making them a thought in my daily living is a walking on egg shells in the middle of a blazing fire issue.
With that said I started 3 days ago keeping track of my food intake with a tiny change to some of my eating. I started changing my foods about 6 weeks ago, and I have really been gritting my teeth a little. Only a few tiny set backs with a little over eating, but nothing really out of control. So I am looking at this as a victory in this walk so far. This web site I found (my husband, Michael found) is called Fitday.com and it is free for the beginning uses of the program. I am using that beginning program,and it's really great. It tracks your fat, protein, carb intake and lays it all out in a neat little colorful graph. So much cool stuff on this web site I am sure I'll learn more about it and me as I go along. Already I am seeing just how unbalanced my food really is. This will help me slowly make the changes I need to make to get the eating part of this journey a power force for me. Really, how good can I get if I am not fueling the tank with 100% energy and repair product.
Today is a day of rest for me. Well I don't call 5 loads of laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning the house rest. But after the 70miles of skating and other workouts I put in this week. it looks like rest!

Inline Skating

Today I worked out in the fresh air. What a pleasure it was to be outside skating.

I started skating with my old inline skates. They have 78mm wheels and swiss bone bearings. Today's skater use 110mm with fast ceramic bearings. So It's funny to watch these people out on the bike path skating faster then they have any right to skate. I am out working my butt off to skate fast compared to them.

So after 1 hour and 4 minutes, I have 18 miles of training in my inlines completed today. Every out of shape muscle in my body was screaming for me to stop. The only muscle that's not out of shape is my tongue in my mouth so thank God that remained shut and not saying one word!!! I felt free and alive in this painful place called skating, and was able to relax and enjoy the workout in an amazing way. Technique was shaky, kept sitting to far forward on my skates and when i rolled over a rock or broken shell that jammed my front wheel, it was a quick reminder to sit back or have severe road rash on my face.

On the last mile, in the middle of the path sat a duck, looking at me as if to say you better jump because I am not budging. And sure enough that duck didn't budge. So with a quick jump and some fast footwork, my beyond exhausted body was finished
For a moment or maybe 2......

With the closing of this winters Olympics, I have been filled with awe beyond words. I still cannot believe that my few small steps that I am taking today will be totaled into such a huge effort to reach a goal in 2014.
As I pulled myself together for my workout yesterday, I was in a place of pity. Looking at how far I am from being any where near a place of calling myself an athlete. How old I am. How crazy all this sounds. But I picked myself up and started that workout, and an hour and a half into it I was able to see and feel the difference I have already made since I committed myself to the goal. And I was able to have my first little cheer for myself.
One step at a time... What am I doing today that will help impact my dream tomorrow? Not one day is to go by without me realizing that my steps today will help or hinder tomorrows outcome.