Monday, May 17, 2010

Am I living in a Dream World?

What am I doing?
I am so far from the starting line.... I get up everyday and do as much as I can and more, and it's still not enough! Everyday I start a workout it's like getting ready to have another child. You know the baby is miracle, that when you hold it in your arms your heart will be filled with joy beyond words. But before that you have to go through labor, birth! That is painful, long and at the time seems like it will never end.
Well I still am at the part of the pregnancy when your not showing even a lump on your belly. I am at the part when you feel green all day long and your feet are dragging and you haven't even heard your child's heart beat, and you still have that " what if " fear of losing the baby. Losing something that you desperately what to hold in your arms and love beyond words already.
It's a scary place to be in, putting yourself out to that place of total commitment, to have something that's not yours yet.
I have that desire.
It's scary.
I want it.
I'll do what I can do every day.
Tomorrow will come...

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