First short track competition

Well I just finished my first competition and I was a good master Old Lady. My Daughter took some video of it and I am horrified. I am slow and scared looking out on that ice. This has to stop I have to stop skating scared and whining about how I don't understand what I am doing. Because that's exactly what I have produced!!!
If I want change then i must attack change square in the face! The only way to make that happen is to pick it up go faster and get out of the way of progress. In other words, get my ass moving! FAST!
PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!
I have all my family believing in this that I can do this and I can't believe how bad I look doing it!
So back to the drawing board of reality!
These steps need to be recorded for me to see feel and hear. No more hiding behind being unsure and thinking I am any good at this. Because the truth of the matter is I am soooo bad and slow compared to the place I want to be. That place that I want to be is very far from my reach right now. But that is all changing in the typing of this ...
Things are changing this minute. Thanks for the wake up call God!!